What It Is

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about why Clemson was the right choice for me.  I talked about how it wasn't the only school to accept me, but I pretty much left it at that.

I filled out multiple applications as an attempt to reassure myself that "at least one of these places has got to accept me."  I couldn't stand the idea of being turned away, but I figured if I got my name out there enough, someone was bound to think I was worth the risk.  Clemson was my top choice from Day 1 (as previously mentioned), but I just really wanted to go somewhere.  I knew that I wanted to be back in school, so I was willing to go wherever I was accepted.

When I got my acceptance letter from CU, it didn't really click in my head right away.  I couldn't believe the first official response I had received was an acceptance.  I had really tried to prepare myself for the worst.  I had made a separate list of back-up schools to apply to if I wasn't admitted to any graduate programs.  I remember reading the acceptance message at work multiple times before finally leaving my computer and announcing my plans to my supervisor at the time.  I knew that at least one acceptance letter meant that I was going somewhere, and that meant I'd have to leave my job.  I actually still feel a little embarrassed by that conversation as the news really sunk in while I was talking to my boss.

Wait.

I was accepted somewhere.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

I was admitted to my top choice school.

Oh.my.gosh!

I quickly started feeling very giddy and had to excuse myself to celebrate with a co-worker who was also looking into graduate schools.  I remember thinking that I didn't have to worry anymore because there was really no other option for me.  Clemson had stolen my heart from the beginning.

But that was just the first of good news.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would have been accepted to each school on my application list.  What was I not prepared to do?  Make a choice between schools and turn down offers.

I'm at Clemson on a scholarship, so right now they're paying for my education.  That made the decision to come here even easier, obviously.  Funny thing is, though, that I was offered a chance to stay in the state of Michigan and further my education.

I remember reading the e-mail and thinking "Ohhhh goodness.  What am I supposed to do?"

On one hand, all I had done after being accepted to Clemson was talk about how great it was and how I was so excited to be a part of that program.  On the other hand, how was I supposed to ignore the offer to stay near most of my family and friends and join a group of elite individuals who had been selected by a national committee?

I learned quickly that my dilemma wasn't because I was in love with both schools.  It was a decision between taking a chance and being comfortable.  There was never another school to make me feel as welcome as Clemson did, but walking away from another opportunity was very tough for me.

I weighed pros and cons and whatnot, but none of the pros included reasons why staying in the state would result in better classroom experiences or a better education.  I talked with a few close individuals about the situation, but soon realized I had already made my decision.

There was a reason I felt so welcomed by Clemson.  Besides my program director constantly telling me that having questions was awesome and that she welcomed phone calls and messages from me at all times, I can't tell you the number of times I heard things like, "well, we're happy to have you," or "we're excited for this opportunity."  Do you know how good it feels to be wanted?  And I'm not saying that I wouldn't have been successful staying in Michigan.  I took a look down the road, though, and realized that the program I had been admitted to in MI worked with schools that are so desperate for educators that they would have hired me without any formal training.  Why go to school then?

So anyway, yeah.  I turned down other opportunities.  Obviously my time at Clemson has just started, but I can't tell you how great it feels to be confident in my decisions and how much I already love it here.  I'm not sure where my life and career will take me, but Michigan will always be my home.  I would love to be able to pursue my dreams back in the Mitten, but we'll see what happens.

I learned once I arrived in SC that I'm the first out-of-state recipient of the scholarship I was awarded.  You can't even imagine how proud that makes me feel.

And I need to interrupt myself here.  For those who know me well, I have to ask you: when was the last time you heard me tell you how proud of myself I am?  Modesty is one thing, lack of esteem is another.

There is no way I could ever look back now!